Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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