Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
