My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
