i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
