Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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