I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
