Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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