I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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