You made me cry and you don't even care
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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