it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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