its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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