u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just had sex bonerless
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
