ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
