i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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