Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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