he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
