Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
