Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
