Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
