Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize