I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
