Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
