Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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