She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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