Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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