We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
