Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I need a burrito and a hug.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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