Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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