Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Randomize
