they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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