You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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