Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
