Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
North Korea, Best Korea!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
