You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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