very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
