Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My life is pants optional.
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