I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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