I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
