He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
