That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
