he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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