Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
