We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just want to make out with him forever
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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