idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
