Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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