So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
