its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
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