Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
