turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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