he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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