ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just googled if crying burns calories
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
