My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
