I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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