he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
