Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
