Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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