Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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