Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
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