he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize